Pearls & Polka Dot Dresses: October 2015

One Year Natural!

One year ago this month, I decided to 'transition to natural hair'. What that means for those unfamiliar with the terminology is that I would no longer use relaxers to chemically straighten my hair. In fact, I no longer desired that bone straight look. I wanted my hair's own kinky, curly texture. It might not sound like a big deal. But considering all of my life - from my earliest childhood memories up until last year - my natural hair had been manipulated in some fashion away from its natural texture, made it a huge step!

The decision to finally go natural was brought about by seeing a Facebook post from my niece. She was sharing a photo of her shoulder length natural hair after transitioning for 2 years. While I was familiar with the 'big chop', transitioning seemed like just the right approach for me. Instead of cutting my hair off, I could just stop relaxing and allow the new growth to come in with its natural texture. As the natural hair grows, the relaxed ends are trimmed off slowly (or just left to be, as I've since learned from other women transitioning). Plus, my husband prefers chin to shoulder length hair. So by transitioning in this method, I could maintain my length (or what was left of it) while finally ditching the 'creamy crack'! At that point, I had nothing to lose. I had very stupidly, damaged my hair months prior while using a home relaxer kit. Afterwards, my hair became extremely dry and brittle. I lost length and could no longer style my hair in my favorite retro inspired styles. Even more saddening than losing the length, my once very thick hair became fine and lost a lot of its body and volume.

My hair as a young girl straightened using a hot comb

I didn't know what to expect of my hair because as I stated earlier, my natural texture was completely foreign to me. But alas, we were going to meet! I had always thought my hair without relaxers would be unruly and completely unmanageable. After all that's the message black women and girls receive about their natural hair texture (and usually from other black people). But after I made the decision to transition to natural hair, I felt free. Almost as if a weight had been lifted from me. I felt authentic. Really and truly me. Sounds crazy because it's just hair right? But it was more. More than I had even expected. I truly loved this God-given, unaltered hair that was growing from my head.

In those early months of transitioning, my only regret was that I had not done this sooner! I wish I could have gone back to when my hair was its longest and thickest and stopped the chemicals and heat that would later cause so much damage. I wish I would have done this before my daughter was born. Quite unexpected was how my decision to transition to natural hair would affect my daughter. I remembered when she was younger and how I had struggled to care for her hair once her true texture started to come through. A beautiful blending of my husband, who is white (Lithuanian/German) and myself. I wanted to keep my daughter's hair natural. I wanted her to love her natural hair. But my lack of knowledge and unfamiliarity of my own natural texture, did not allow me to adequately impart that love and self-acceptance I wanted my daughter to have for her own hair. It wasn't until one day after my transition, I was walking around the house allowing my freshly washed afro to air dry that my daughter realized my hair wasn't really straight. I didn't know that she had been secretly vexed as to why Daddy and Mommy had straight hair. But she and her brothers had waves and curls. My daughter remarked that my hair was an afro just like Reed (our youngest son, whose big, bushy hair resembled an afro at that point). Afterwards, I saw my daughter take a new sense of pride in her own unique texture of hair. She no longer expressed any interest in straightening or changing her wave pattern. She lovingly braided and twisted her hair. Started adorning her hair with headbands, bows and hair flowers (a favorite of mine as well). As I learned about the best kind of products to care for my hair in its natural state, we discovered products that also worked for my daughter's hair as well. My daughter finally had that love and acceptance for her hair that I had always wished. And it came after I found love and acceptance for my own hair.

After a year as a naturalista, I can look back and honestly say transitioning to natural has been one of the single best things I've done for my hair. My husband loves my hair. He loves to touch my hair. Loves the smell of my hair (no more chemical smell, just yummy coconut!). Absolutely adores when I do the bantu knot twist out styles. He told me hands down, that's been the most flattering look to my hair in the 15 years we've been married. Quite an endorsement! And for myself - as a black woman in particular - I feel like I'm truly my most beautiful self wearing my hair with the texture that God intended. It's a unique beauty that is authentic to us (black women). My own hair, my own texture.

My hair goals for the coming year and beyond - continue to grow my fro healthier, thicker, longer, BIGGER. Think Diana Ross and Teyonah Parris!

My natural hair inspirations - Diana Ross (left), Teyonah Parris (right)

♥

Friday, October 23, 2015

It's My Birthday!

Monday, October 19, 2015

Fascinator Find

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Seeing Spots

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

I Enjoy Being A Girl

Monday, October 5, 2015

One Year Natural | Transitioning to Natural Hair

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Leopard & Bows

Thursday, October 1, 2015

October